LeBron James : Back in Cleveland - Now I Need a New Favorite Joke

Welcome back.

Just Do It right this time.

http://youtu.be/n3QW9LebjuE?list=UUjGYuzQGveMB_QApsvwCQkg

Plants vs. Zombies: Young Zoms

Just a little parody video I made of Plants vs. Zombies, Young Guns, and Jon Bon Jovi.

Warner Bros. and Sony are killing Gotham City Impostors!

Warner Bros., SONY, and GameSpy are killing PS3 GCI.

This is my tribute and a call to action for a sequel.

Please call 1 (818) 954-6000, Warner Bros. headquarters, and ask for more GCI.

Death of PS3 GCI Tribute

***Update June 9, 2014. The game IS running peer-to-peer on PS3, but the matches are more laggy than usual, and they stopped selling the PS3 version so: No more new players.

What's Wrong with Major League Baseball? part 2

Welcome back to my Major League Baseball gripe-fest. Have an eye-full.

It will probably be clear soon that I am a Cleveland Indians fan, and that all other teams are the unholy demon-spawn of the underworld.

Except maybe the Cubs, whom I chose as my NL team back before interleague play, because I've always felt they were like the National League counterpart to the Tribe.

Besides hating-on the Cubbies is like picking on the "special-kids."

I mentioned in part one that I may need to amend my original—What'sWrong with Major League Baseball?—with further complaint(s), and like your average Horrendous Space Kablooie—This is a big-one.

With this uneven divisional-based scheduling—Why are MLB teams currently playing nearly half of their schedules against the same four clubs?

I know that the Yankees and Red Sox would prefer to play the entire season against only each other, and then battle for the “World Series of Smugness” trophy—but right now each division has five teams, and each team is scheduled to play the other four teams in the division: 19 times each!

These lopsided schedules promote inflated stats and bored fans. Sure a clear divisional champion will be declared, but on occasion some good teams, and players, get to pound on the weak to pad their stats and win/loss records.

This scheduling practice, in effect, fragments the two leagues into six mini-leagues, further segmenting fans.

Fans whom on a chilly Thursday night may veto a trip to the ball-yard because—yawn—the visiting team is the Minnesota Twin-kees [sic] for one of ten visits. I hate admitting it, but certain teams put “asses-in-seats." 

Teams like Boston or the Bronx-Cheer Bombers, [sic, straight-up] and other larger-market teams are generally good for a lot of extra fans coming through the gates for a visiting series. That means a lot of extra dough for struggling teams—struggling teams without revenue sharing that is.

Spread the wealth MLB—and the misery—balance the schedule. Give some variety to the fans.

Fans that currently won't get to see their team play the Yankees, Orioles, and Red Sox nearly 60 times a year—which is wasted on Canadians and Floridians anyway.

One extra series among the divisional teams, or a home-and-home four-game series is plenty.

What season-ticket holder wants to look down and realize that nearly 1/2 of what they're holding is to see the same four teams over and over? I'm sure even the “Fenway Fart-ful” [hell-yeah, sic] aren't always thrilled getting 20 home games of Tampa-on [sic(k)] and the Toronto BJ's (tee-hee, tee-hee, no "[sic]" necessary.) 

So basically Major League Baseball is currently robbing most fans of quality entertainment, by hogging the biggest marquee teams to play mostly against each other.

I love my Tribe, but the Cleveland Indians benefited from the goofy-schedule themselves, temporarily, when in 2011 they jumped off to a bloated record that had the fans screaming: “Pennant!”

But Cleveland was mostly beating-up-on three struggling teams, and splitting with the fourth. Eventually—as often happens with Cleveland teams—everything went to hell, and a rival went on to win the American League Central Division, with a lopsided 15-game lead, and then get themselves mauled one step shy of the World Series. Isn't that right Detroit Tiggers? [sic, damn-right sic]

So things did even-out eventually, and the Indians accepted their traditional place during the October playoffs—curled up with a nice plate of pierogi. 


WhackyWookiee

Texting While Driving Laws?

Not that long ago I had a near-miss incident whilst on the road.

I was behind another car waiting to right-on-red onto the highway. The first car stops, and then makes a legal turn. As he is halfway through, the light turns green in both directions—I assume—as I was forced to break and avoid colliding with a midsize-sedan showing no sign of yielding the right of way.

I managed to get a look at the driver: a young brunette woman holding a smartphone—now I can’t be sure—but I think I detected thumb movement.She casually glanced up at me—possibly for the first time—then went on her way.

I could be wrong to blame this incident on texting.

It could be complete ignorance of the “when making a left-turn, a driver must yield to another vehicle coming from an opposing direction making a right-turn” law.

So yes, I believe there should be laws that apply to anything that takes one’s eyes off of the road while driving—in fact I believe there already are laws on the books—like in the Ohio Digest of Motor Vehicle Laws, page 30 section five. 

Which means: Texting has been illegal all along.

So why do we need the Federal Government involved? Or involved again?

We’re supposed to keep both hands on the wheel at all times—most of us violate that every day. So where do lawmakers stop listing offending tasks? The fine-print of the law would be 139 pages long—

• "A driver shall not, while operating a motor vehicle, text or make cell-phone calls of any kind without a hands-free device. […]

• The driver shall not make a pastrami-sandwich—regardless of bread-choice—nor shall the driver prepare cold or hot food-dishes of any kind. […]

• The driver shall not assemble model-kits of any scale, color, vintage or collectability. […]

• The driver shall not at any time perform a “pressed-ham.”[…]

• The driver shall not “pass the wheel” to another person in the car—action-hero style—then exit the vehicle while it is in motion, board another vehicle and engage in combat with the driver or passenger(s) of the other vehicle. […]

• The driver shall not perform Paul Walker’s “stare (at the passenger) and drive” move from the Fast & Furious film-series. [...]

Ahem.

Too soon?

It’s a very tragic situation—but this is legal text here. […]” 

WhackyWookiee

What's Wrong with Major League Baseball?

Where to begin? These are my “too-sense.”

Does MLB need a salary cap?

Yes, when in the past 91 years, 38 World Series championships have come from the same two teams (Yankees and Cardinals).

It's a tale of haves and have-nots. Like a crappy 80's prime-time soap.

Does MLB need Revenue-Sharing?

Yes, when in the past 91 years 38 World Series championships have come from the same two teams—Why do I feel like I'm repeating myself?

That's 42% of MLB championships from the same two cities. Over ninety-one years. The Yankees have nearly a third on their own.

And neither of those are even my biggest complaint...

Why the migration to cable TV guys?

It makes the games seem less important. Less like “History in the making.” It creates a rift in team interest for those that can't ever afford cable, at least. Not to mention those who might have an “on-again/off-again” relationship with pay-TV providers, and the channels seem to be in a higher-tier programming packages anyway.

Aside from that, is the fact that the average fan doesn't always keep the sports channels in their standard flipping habits.

I know this is the trend all over the sport, and as an example; Growing up in Cleveland, the Indians always had a lot of games on local channel 43, and a lot of commercials advertising those games during other programing.

Now they have one a week on local TV, if that, and I believe that going out to the ballgame, instead of say a movie, is losing its general appeal to the average consumer.

One of the many reasons why MLB attendance is struggling all over (this article may need a few updates.)

Oh, and one more thing...

Please flip-flop Inter-league play so that the rules follow the visiting teams. It would give the fans some extra incentive to come see the game and an unfamiliar style of ball, while visiting teams could at least find some comfort in familiar rules, in an unfamiliar park.

Oh, and one more "one more thing"...

Thanks for fixing the “Transfer rule,” but Instant replay is worthless if it's not handled correctly.

Why is there not the ability to always appeal to the Replay-umpire? More than once, if needed, even if they don't get the call?

And why does the Replay-umpire not always have the ability to let those visually-handicapped morons know when they're being even bigger idiots than usual, and they just made much more than a routine horrible-call?

Hopefully MLB doesn't bite it as hard as comedy-clubs did after the late 80's.

WhackyWookiee

A Blog Reborn.

Hey World,

If anyone is listening/reading, I appreciate it very much. I started this blog a while ago, as part of a school project, and I've left it to rot, more-or-less, but no more!

I apologize for my lack of commitment, I enjoy griping about what irks me, why Michael Bay is Satan, and how God seems to hate Cleveland Ohio—He doesn't. He knows we're up for a challenge.

I may as well critique the realms of popular-culture in a venue that may inspire others, through meaningful discussion, to attain new levels of “creative-bitching.”

That's what it's all about...Something you can be proud to tell your grand-kids someday.

Besides, I've noticed on the Internets recently that there seems to be a shortage of people pointing out perceived flaws in the things they enjoy.

I'm also having a hard time finding anyone attempting ambiguously-humorous pseudo-journalism.

That's me: I see a void, and I fill it.

WhackyWookiee

P.S. Please don't sue me Disney.

A “WhackyWookiee” is no more a “Wookiee,” than an Elephant-Seal an Elephant.